Cadences
by asphora
Summary: Wherein Chitoge learns to be brave, and Raku does the opposite, but life moves on for everyone despite everything.


_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

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Summary: Wherein Chitoge learns how to be brave, and Raku does the opposite, but life moves on for everyone despite everything.

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It isn't much of a surprise to Chitoge, but it still stings. She had known for quite a while now that Raku did, in fact, have feelings for Onodera.

Chitoge doesn't know why she's so disappointed. Maybe she'd thought three years would be enough to turn it around for herself. She'd thought that maybe if he stayed with her long enough, he would fall for her too.

So it hurts like such a bitch, she admits, when at the end of it all, she is still not his choice. She tries to look for it in between their passed notes in class, their conversations, their late night talks and yet, when she rummages _through_ their memories she can't seem to find where it all went wrong— where _she_ had gone wrong.

Maybe Chitoge had imagined it all on her own, those moments of tenderness and sweetness that they'd shared. Or worse, maybe they were as real as she'd ever wanted them to be, only they didn't mean as much to Raku as they did to her.

Her first inkling, is to run away. Simply pack up and leave as it had been originally planned, but she stops herself because she isn't the same coward she used to be three years ago. Raku had made sure to fight for her when she was too afraid to fight for herself and he'd made sure she eventually learned to fight for herself.

So this one last time, Chitoge decides, she will do as she's been taught and she'll be brave and strong. She won't put Raku's lessons to shame and this will be her parting gift to him.

xxx

She graduates top of their class—unsurprisingly. There's only one place though that she'd like to be number one in, but she knows that's impossible now. Her time is up and so is theirs and now, all that's left to do is be honest.

She gives a wonderful valedictorian speech. It's one that brings tears to the eyes of her fellow classmates and to hers as well. They don't know it, but this is her goodbye to them. And so she cries. They're graceful tears, but tears nonetheless.

She allows herself to shed a few for the classmates that will no longer be her classmates, for the friends she will never see again and for the boy who will have a much more peaceful and happy life once she is gone. She cries, just a little bit more, because he will be happy even without her.

When the whole celebration is done and everyone is distracted by the lights, the fuss, their families and the absolute ethereality of the moment, Chitoge takes the chance to pull Raku aside.

There isn't ever going to be the right time for the things she has to say, so she doesn't wait. She only wants for them to have their privacy. All she ask is no one to interrupt them or see her cry because she is more than certain she will definitely bawl her eyes out.

"You gave a great speech up there." It's more awkward now than it has ever been and Chitoge knows that this is the result of their supposed 'break-up'. She doesn't blame him for the small talk. Instead, she's thankful that he tries to ease the situation, but Chitoge knows there's no way not to make it awkward.

"I'm in love with you. I have been for two and a half years." She goes in without so much as sparing him a moment to breathe and she's glad that for once, she can leave him breathless. Although it's not the same in the way Onodera leaves him breathless, she's glad she's able to do it at least once.

"I know that that's not nearly as long as how long you've been in love with Onodera." The words shouldn't be so painful to say, but to Chitoge, it's almost just like swallowing sand. "I'm sorry you didn't get to be with her because of me and our fake relationship and all."

That's when her dam breaks and she decides to look at the floor because she can't stand to see what Raku's expression will be, seeing her cry. "But if it means anything, those three years with you were really…" she tries to look for the right word because there are too many that she can't find just one to describe how being with Raku has made her feel, but then she decides on the perfect word, "happy."

"I hope that when I leave," her voice cracks at the last word and more of her tears come out, "you can be happy with her, just as I was happy with you. I mean, I know you'll make her happy and she'll do the same for you. You're a great guy and she's a great girl…"

She trails of and despite being unable to get what she wants to say across perfectly, Raku understands because he understands her better than he understands anything in this world.

"Yeah, she is."

His words sting, but Chitoge is prepared and so the words don't make her cry more than she already is. Looking away from him and to her pocket, she takes something out and hands it over to him. It's a golden key hanging from a necklace and around its handle, there's a paper secured with a ribbon.

"I hope you realize, that it doesn't matter anymore." Raku doesn't understand what she means, but lets her continue without interrupting her. "It doesn't matter who the promise girl is because you love Onodera. That's why I'm giving this to you.

"It's yours now to do as you please with it and I—I guess, I don't need it anymore, do I?" She smiles and laughs lightly as if it's a joke worth laughing at but, really she's falling apart inside.

"I guess, it's also partially selfish of me to give this to you because really, I'm just getting rid of it so that I never have to wonder 'what if' and I'll never have any reminders.

"But in all seriousness, it's yours and you can do what you want with it. I—It isn't mine anymore and neither are you."

Raku is crying too at this point because there's something so horribly familiar about this goodbye and as he takes the key from her, it feels like he's letting go of a huge chunk of himself. He's so confused.

When she sees his tears, she reaches out to him, rubbing the wetness from his face. "I guess we shouldn't have made that promise all those years ago, right?

"I mean, it was stupid and we were kids. We didn't know any better. But I guess, now you do, so I'm rooting for you, Raku."

She takes his hand and closes his fingers around the key tightly. Bringing her face down, she presses a soft kiss to his fingers and finally, she smiles at him. Her smile is radiant and free and it's something so familiar, yet he's sure he's never seen her smile like that.

"Don't go." He says and the words feel like something from a different time and place.

"I have to." She replies. "Don't worry. You'll have Onodera and everyone else and you'll be happy. Don't feel bad for turning me down.

"If anything, I'm sorry for giving you everything I had without ever asking you if you wanted it."

"Bye bye Raku, good luck in everything." With that, she's turns around and walks back into the hall where the graduation was held.

He tries to run after her after coming back to his senses, but she's been swallowed up by the throngs of people. She's gone and he cannot find her.

XXX

Later that night, after all the celebrations have ensued and his family is coming home after a late night of celebrating their young master's graduation, he will remember. He will feel the weight of the key in his pants pocket and he will be reminded of the girl who will not come back.

Somehow, tragically so, it was quite reminiscent of thirteen years ago with the promise girl.

Taking the piece of metal from his pocket, he looks at it, and the paper that had once been creaseless was now somewhat crumpled thanks to being in his pocket for so long. He undoes it from the ribbon and carefully unrolls the paper.

Inside, it says, _"Zwasze in love."_

He thinks she's cruel to say goodbye then give him a message like this because she says goodbye, but asks for 'forever in love'. It's insane, but somehow, it's completely Chitoge. He can't help but miss her when he thinks about it like that.

He doesn't do much but stare at it for the first few months. After a while, he forgets he has it, but sometimes, it will jingle, hitting the locket that is also hanging around his neck and he will remember. Sometimes, he'll be meeting new people and they'll ask about the two necklaces that hang from his neck and he'll remember.

Years later, when college is long over and it's been so many years and his children are off living their own lives, he will finally gain the courage to try.

Carefully placing the key into the hole with shaking, tired and wrinkled hands, he turns it, softly, gently and carefully so as not to break it the same way he and Chitoge had broken it so many years ago.

There is a soft click.


End file.
